I had a few things I wanted to cover today, so this one will be a bit of a mixed bowl.
I firstly want to thank WordPress (www.wordpress.com) for choosing yesterday’s blog on GUILT as one of the featured articles of the day. It brought me insane amounts of traffic, and I was excited beyond belief. One of my Facebook friends wrote, “If you build it, They will come.” This made me teary. I write from my heart, day after day, and I visualize a whole bunch of us women sitting in a room together just discussing the issues. I feel connected. I do.
I also wanted to share what happened Monday evening. It will have a point at the end. It’s not just all drama, so stay with me…
Monday evening, my entire family was over for dinner. We were eating, talking, enjoying. My two boys were running wild in the living room, as they always do. Next thing I know, someone is crying. Hello!!! This happens five times a day! But this time was different. I picked up my two year old to comfort him, and next thing I know, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, he was turning blue, and he was lifeless in my arms. In fact, he then slid right out of my arms directly onto my hard wood floor, as I wasn’t expecting to receive his body in this nature. I picked him up off the floor but he was dead weight, and not moving.
I screamed to my family, “CALL 911!!!!!” The ambulance came literally in two minutes. In those two minutes, while I started shaking him and screaming, my husband blew in his face. He awoke, and started crying. My husband was physically trembling, he couldn’t even hold him. He physically almost threw up. When the ambulance arrived, my son was already lucid and talking up a storm again. They said that while his vitals were good, his blood pressure was very high and he had to go to the hospital immediately. I ran into the ambulance with him completely shaking. In fact, I ran out of the house in my pink fluffy slippers when the nice driver told me to go back and get shoes. My husband followed with my father in law behind the ambulance. My baby boy. I thought he had died in my arms.
So while sitting in the ambulance, all that went through my head was how fragile life is. How life turns on a dime. How one minute you’re celebrating, and the next minute you’re praying. In fact, at this very moment, my uncle is very ill in the hospital. We were talking about him at the dinner table, and how life is just not fair sometimes. I don’t have to tell you this. We all know life isn’t always fair.
The shortened version, when we arrived at the hospital, the doctors had come to the conclusion that after my big son had winded the little one into the couch, his hard crying had caused him to stop breathing and pass out. No joke. It’s called “breath holding.” Many kids get it from crying. They hold their breath from crying, and the lack of oxygen to the brain makes them faint. Don’t laugh, it’s scary as hell!
All this to say, we all slept in yesterday morning. My big son went to school late, my little one stayed home with me. We had a quiet day, and it was wonderful. I don’t mean to be somber, but that’s just where my head was. It was all very scary. To top it off, what truly made me cry, was my big son thought it was his fault. When the ambulance pulled up, he shouted, “It’s all my fault.” That killed me. I called him 5 times from the hospital to tell him that of course, it wasn’t his fault at all. He must have the guilty gene like his mom! Poor him!
So, enough of this sad story. I will tell you the funny parts of the story. There were a couple. While we were in the ambulance, and his life was flashing before my eyes, this little voice comes out and says, “Mommy, no DVD player in da ambulance.” I blurted out laughing. Even the driver started to laugh, as my son started to recite our Montreal Canadiens team players one by one, and how Kovalev was traded to the Ottawa Senators.
Top that off with the doctor who treated him at the hospital. We’re waiting for the doctor, and in walks this nice lady “Hello, I’m Dr. Seuss.” I reply, “That’s cute. Really, what’s your name?” She answers, “Dr. Seuss.” NO JOKE! P.S., her name really is Dr. Soos.!! My big son ran with that. He loved that the doctor at the Children’s Hospital was Dr. Soos!
So just remember, you blink and life can change. I realize now more than ever, we have to live in the moment. Celebrate the good stuff. My husband and I went out last night to celebrate for no reason. My son was healthy and we felt thankful. I had my busiest blogging day and we tried to savor the moment. So today I pray for my uncle’s recovery, and for good health and happiness for my family.You should feel grateful for the good things you have.
And do the cheesy stuff today…
Email your boyfriend or husband or partner and tell them them you love them and appreciate them. Blast your iPod and close your eyes and enjoy some great music. Run on the treadmill today at the gym, cuz there’s no greater and freer feeling. And call those people you wronged and apologize to them. You never know if you’ll always have that chance to tell them how you feel.
PS – I should be feeling happier tomorrow, therefore, look out for some happier “On the fence” topics.