Friends! I love my friends. Growing up as an only child was quite lonely. I had always wanted an older sibling, preferably an older brother. A brother to come home to who would beat me up, someone to try smoking with, and teach me the ropes in life. Well, no such sibling ever came before nor after me, so I made due with the next best thing… friends. Older friends, younger friends. I had my core group, but never stuck eclusively to them. I always had friends in many circles. Friends for “a reason and a season.” And it continued over the years. My high school friends, my college friends, my carpool friends, my golf friends, my work friends, friends through my children, my old friends, my new friends. I love them all. They all hold a very special place in my heart.

When thinking of the old ones, there’s nothing quite like your old friends. Your friends you have that history with… that connection with.Your best friend since elementary school. Your neighbour you grew up with that you still keep in touch with. You just have that bond, that deep history together.

 

Yet, as you’ve grown, you’ve made new friends along the way. And while you may have a past with old friends, new ones come into your life based on where you’re at right now.

For example, I have my core group of friends from years ago that I still speak to very regularly. I love them, I have a history and bond with them. Fortunately, I still feel just as close with them today as before.

But, I also have a new group of friends. Some older than me. Women of all different groups. And I love these women. I had dinner last night with a very new friend, and it felt like I was having dinner with an old friend I hadn’t seen in years. We sat down at 7:45 and didn’t get up until 11:30PM. We talked the night away over a yummy dinner and a bottle of wine. The connection was immediate, and we are just “on the same page.”

Some of you have written in about friends you have “outgrown.” By outgrow, you have said that both of you have changed and perhaps grown apart and you find yourselves in bouts of silence during conversations. Perhaps your priorities have shifted, and had you met this person today, there would have been no friendship at all. And while this is sad, this is life. We grow, we move, we transition, we change. Not everyone we grew up with still share that same compatibility. And I think we have to say, “that is okay.”

So, the “fence” issue here is, do you keep a friendship going with someone you share very little in common with just for history’s sake, or do you let the friendship fizzle? I think this is difficult to answer. We’re all busy women in our lives at this stage, be it working, single, married, divorced… whatever. Frienships should nurture us, not weigh us down. So I encourage you to let go of all friends that are toxic, that weigh you down.

Keep the good, throw away the bad. Friendships shouldn’t be about new or old, they should be about quality. I wish you a long and happy life with your bestest of friends! I wish you joy and tears for many more years.

New Friends and Old Friends
by Joseph Parry


Make new friends, but keep the old;
Those are silver, these are gold.
New-made friendships, like new wine,
Age will mellow and refine.
Friendships that have stood the test –
Time and change – are surely best;
Brow may wrinkle, hair grow gray,
Friendship never knows decay.
For ‘mid old friends, tried and true,
Once more we our youth renew.
But old friends, alas! may die,
New friends must their place supply.
Cherish friendship in your breast –
New is good, but old is best;
Make new friends, but keep the old;
Those are silver, these are gold.
 

What is your take on new and old friends? Do you have those you keep around that you should have thrown away long ago? Share some stories with our readers.

xoxEDxox

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